Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Those Were The Days

"Here is my heart, don't break it!" I said that to some dumbass in high school that I swore I was madly in love with and gave him this super cute antique crystal heart as a little keepsake. I thought it was all sentimental and cute at the time, now I kick myself because he turned out to be a booger gone bad, and I lost one of my favorite little pieces of jewelry. Bummer. That experience has made me learn to keep my good jewelry to myself, and to not share it with people that don't appreciate it. Big obscene gestures to that mean dude that eventually broke my real heart (I am not sure about what happened to the crystal heart, I imagine he gave it to some other girl , who knows.) ..........................Not that I am bitter or anything:)

I just talked to my mom this morning. She was a little teary and sad. My uncle Dave sent my mom a big box of family photos and my mom had just gone through them. She commented on how cute my sisters and I all were when we were kids and I joked "Yeah? and look what has happened to us!" She laughed but said that it wasn't that we aren't all still cute but that it was something kids had about them naturally. Excitement, amazement, joy, all the things that we don't always show when we are adults. We came to the conclusion that it is a goal to keep some of those feelings about the world within our hearts throughout our lives, to make our time here worth it. Now, I have to say that this is a new goal for me, a few years back my goal was just to survive the day, go home, or go out and buy some shoes to soak up some of my exhaustion and depression. With Ciaran here, I see things a little differently. Not that the world is perfect and beautiful all the time, because it is definitely not, but if you can look past all the crap going on out there, it is a wonderful, mysterious place, full of adventures of your choosing. Yes, it is a choose your own adventure kind of place. That is how my son is seeing the world now, and I don't want me or anyone else to mess that up for him in any way.

We learned yesterday that Humbug is suffering from kidney failure and an infection of some sort. She seems to be feeling a little better, her appetite has improved and she has perked up a bit, but her kidneys don't seem to want to cooperate. We will be keeping her happy and comfortable at home for the meanwhile.


UniqueNurseGranny said...

Like your blog.Know how your Mother feels.How you feel about your son,also

nicaeli said...

thanks so much:)